Emotional Freedom - Untriggered & at Peace
We can create emotional freedom and inner peace for ourselves; become untriggered, undisturbed and unbound through the process of self-inquiry, it's pretty cool...
It all begins with judgment.
"They should know better" is a common underlying core judgement that creates suffering for us when we believe it.
I believe the spiritual impulse, this inner pull towards freedom, constantly calls us beyond stories like this that cause us suffering.
Its tricky business though because we search for evidence to validate the truth of our stories.
"See, that's why I feel this way" we tell ourselves.
We always point to the stories that serve as proof for our emotional state.
Every righteous judgment and moral indignation that creates upset is backed by at least one justification (usually many.)
Every victim needs a villain.
So, we create one from thin air within our mind in the form of a story then project the pain we experience from believing the story onto someone,
"They're bad, they did this to me, they should have known better!"
We stay attached to and stuck in the suffering we have created for ourselves by mistakenly believing,
"Someone out there did this to me, and it's only when that person changes that I can be happy. They're clearly in the wrong and I'm in the right."
We spend incredible amounts of energy trying to change, control, or subtly manipulate people and situations to be the way we want them to be, because of course we are right and we know how things should be, don't we?
We don't like to see our behaviour as manipulation because we like to see ourselves as good people, with good intentions who just want the best for everyone.
That's why we're trying to change and control them right? For good reasons...
Sure I believe many of us have good intentions, but I think there's also a deeper truth...
That we would feel completely useless, bored and lack significance/value if we stopped creating problems for ourselves, blaming things on other people, or spending all of our time trying to fix others or complain about how others should change.
What would we do if we had nothing and no one to complain about or change?
We'd just be happy and at peace.
So why don't we give that to ourselves?
Because we're attached to our stories, committed to proving we're right, and addicted to the very adrenaline and drama we say we don't want.
What a predicament we find ourselves in:
Creating suffering for ourselves from thin air.
Making up stories, believing them, and having emotional reactions to thought-forms inside of us.
Projecting our pain on to other people.
Blaming our suffering on other people.
Complaining about the drama we create.
Arguing with the people we love and who are on the same team as us...
What a tangled, confusing, messy web our mind weaves.
Self-inquiry does the untangling.
Inquiry combined with deep humility is the ultimate ego evaporator.
There's no rush and no need to judge ourselves for believing the stories we use to protect us.
The invitation is to cultivate space and stillness so that we can see more clearly the inner stories that we project on to our outer world.
It is our inner stories and judgements that we react to emotionally not other people, because we mistake them 1) as truth and 2) as "out there".
In the end we have to want to feel good more than we want to be right if we want to be free.
We have to be willing to see how we are the only ones that can create suffering for ourselves.
This is great news because we don't have to change or control anyone to be happy and at peace, we only need to question our thoughts.
I continue to experience viscerally through my own self inquiry the truth of these beautiful quotes:
"Until the whole world is free to agree with you or disagree with you, until you have given the freedom to everyone to like you or not like you, to love you or hate you, to see things as you see them or to see things differently—until you have given the whole world its freedom—you’ll never have your freedom." - Adyashanti
"A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It's not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts , that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it's true without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we've been attaching to, often for years." - Byron Katie
"Peace doesn't require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there." - Byron Katie.